One of the things that I have dealt with in my life is the absence of health care. I do not have insurance right now and I have had it off and on my whole life. When I get hurt or I have a pain I deal with it how I can. Generally that pattern looks a little like this:
- Self-diagnosis – a little research and a little question asking I get down to what I believe is the issue.
- Administer the Medicine – Based on what I learn I do what I can and see how the medicine works.
- Strengthen around the injury – I build up the muscles around the injury.
Ok so this sounds a lot like a physical injury and for the most part it is. So what then do you do when the pain is an emotional one. What happens when you think you are healed after months and then you realize in one quick exchange that you are not completely healed. The one exchange brings about emotions like jealousy and anger that you thought were gone. When the injury occurred I went through all the steps. Self diagnosis, treatment and a ton of strengthening. The thing that I learned this weekend is that the strengthening can never stop. You must keep it going.
I realized that many times we can treat something and it disappears for a while but that does not mean that it is gone. It can creep up on you at any time without warning. I remembered this weekend the definition of Insanity (doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result). I find myself doing that in so many areas. Ive written on self sabotage. It is fear winning in our life. I learned this weekend that I am Lonely……….I miss my kids……….I now for certain that I can do great things in this life. So why then do I not do them……..? That is where I get a little lost. That is where I realize that I do not know that cure but I can’t keep doing it the way that I have tried. That would be simply INSANE!
My conclusion is simple……..I need to go back to what I know. Health Insurance gives you access to some of the top doctors in the field of medicine. They help guide you to the answer. On the emotional side of things we have books, audios and mentors that help us do that. It is time to dive back into my reading and learning from those who have gone where I want to go. It is time to let go of the past and embrace the future. This time I will be aware that the pain may never fully go away but I can use it to learn and grow stronger …………………..
