POOR CAT !!! POOR MATT !!! You made me laugh and smile really big with this one; hope you’re enjoying life as much as you enjoyed this wonderful, silly memory…you goofball.

This was a really well written & very honest blog posting. I know exactly what you mean when the need to self proclaim and diagnose what we are battling for ourselves is important. Some people can and some can’t. I’ve been there as well wondering if I’ll be alone forever & dwelling in my own self pity. I think coming out of it was a huge success for my own well being but in order to learn what I have, I was at that place in time for a reason in which HE has a reason for everything. Thank You for sharing as some people feel so alone when depression hits but they aren’t. You are awesome!!!

Like you.

You also said this:
“I have realized that I chase people that I think won’t approve of me and seek to gain their love…”
I, too, even ‘MARRIED my mother’ (my psycho ex-husband), according to my psychologist, in an effort to do the same. It’s hard, but gets easier when we grow up, and pass these types of people up, in the process.

Like you.

What you’re doing, Mathew, is maturing…growing UP. Letting go of the things of childhood and immaturity.

The fact that you’re mature enough to realize that there is a Supreme Being you will ultimately answer to (God), makes you feel more accountable for what you’ve done – helps you grow and helps you to WANT to be a better person…and see clearly, more so than others.

Like me, by understanding many of the things you’re going through with so many similarities and having common faith – you have stepped away from the sickness and realized that it IS a sickness! And that’s GOOD.

My mother’s is psychotic and narcissistic…very much like my exes issues, which became a huge part of my life…I was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) due to a lifetime of abuse, abandonment, harassment, stalking, and over a recent decade of the same- but much more intense with my ex.

Then only to discover my mother’s FaceBook contact would be hammered down by intense rejection (she even called me EVIL after not having talked to me or having seen me in 20 years) – but the good thing about that was I saw her coming a mile away. I was prepared and had a large network of family and friends, including my Dad, from which to bounce off. Her true colors have never shown brighter than they did in the email she sent me within the past several months.

And on top of that, my ex-husband’s always a monster – he contacted me in August!! Telling me he was going to FIND ME and that I was going to be arrested and that I was conspiring with actual (he named them) family court judges and doctors against him with our children..he’s a VERY sick individual. His true colors will always be the same…he’s, too, incapable of change. What he doesn’t know is that the email was traced to his exact location this time. Some library in Allen, Texas. It’s a felony to stalk and harass someone, knowing that you’re doing it..and the people (judge and doctor) he named have just been notified.

But I’m a different person:

Strengthened, tolerant, and responsible towards people who will treat me that way. But I have a ways to go in some ways. I need to feel that I’m safe and my children are safe at all times. We’re almost there.

It is NOT my fault they are that way.

Nor is it yours.

You ARE a greater man for accepting the way your are and being better for it, and desiring to be EVEN better.

I came across this quote awhile ago, and was totally inspired by it. I had forgotten all about it until you just reminded me. And it’s true. Who are we not to be brilliant, and all that comes with it? Thank you for the reminder to allow ourselves wonderfulness, and to help bring that wonderfulness out in other people.